What to do, are we just hoping it's not over?

I've been with my boyfriend for almost 9 years, I was only 17 when we met, and also had an eating disorder, so I was very slim. We had a wild time at the beginning, and he made me feel amazing. So much so, the eating disorder I had for 8 years began to vanish, as my confidence was sky high thanks to him. although, he cheated on me a few times then, I looked at it as though we were young meeting and took him back. although, I traveled for a long time after to see if we were meant to be, but he came to visit me a lot and we missed each other so much. Then I cheated on him and told him, just so he'd know how much he had hurt me, and he was devastated that he hurt me that much. We were fab again for a very long time and planned to buy a place, he moved in with my family where we began to save for a house. Although, my grandmother ped away just as this happened and I became very depressed. we went to buy a property but I got made redundant from my job just before contracts were to be signed so we couldn't go thru with it. his job prospects in construction are not looking good either, We just don't sleep together anymore. I'd say in the past 14 months we have slept together 8 times? this is VERY unusual for us, he doesn't want to. It's like we're just best friends. I've tried to talk to him, but he doesn't want to listen. I know he's ABLE to do it, but he just doesn't WANT to do it with me. I'm starting to put weight on now and my confidence is shattering. but I love him and he loves me. I know he's not cheating, but to be honest I've no idea if we just love each other as friends and not as a 'couple' anymore. what can I do to try and make things better. i'm very confused. thanks