How Can I best Protect my Home from Vandals?

This morning I awoke, again, to find that hooligans, ruffians, or otherwise disgruntled miscreants have once again posted signs on my home with Unicorn-Lover hate speech and unicorn epithets and drawings of unicorns being disemboweled and sodomized. Every time I call the police, they tell me to remove the yard gnomes and unicorn statues from my yard, but why should I confrm to their fascism? It will take me all morning to remove the sign they hung in my tree that reads "Unicorn F@G!!!" Look I am as much of a proponent of free speech as was Sir Francis Bacon or Sammy Davis Jr, But this is really getting out of pocket. Things have gone awry, and these little run-amuckers should be flogged or cained like they do in Singapore. I have strategically placed steel bear traps in my yard now, so maybe this will be a "dead" issue by morning.